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This was
not true, for these things belonged to his master; but he was a boaster. "Don't
come so near me," said the garter; "I am not accustomed to it." "Affectation!"
said the shirt-collar. Then they were taken out of the wash-tub, starched, and
hung over a chair in the sunshine, and then laid on the ironing-board. And now
came the glowing iron. "Mistress widow," said the shirt-collar, "little mistress
widow, I feel quite warm. I am changing, I am losing all my creases.
I am
changing, I am losing all my creases. You are burning a hole in me. Ugh! I
propose to you." "You old rag," said the flat-iron, driving proudly over the
collar, for she fancied herself a steam-engine, which rolls over the railway and
draws carriages. "You old rag!" said she. The edges of the shirt-collar were a
little frayed, so the scissors were brought to cut them smooth. "Oh!" exclaimed
the shirt-collar, "what a first-rate dancer you would make; you can stretch out
your leg so well.
I never saw anything so charming; I am sure no human
being could do the same." "I should think not," replied the scissors. "You ought
to be a countess," said the shirt collar; "but all I possess consists of a fine
gentleman, a boot-jack, and a comb. I wish I had an estate for your sake."
"What! is he going to propose to me?" said the scissors, and she became so angry
that she cut too sharply into the shirt collar, and it was obliged to be thrown
by as useless. "I shall be obliged to propose to the hair-brush," thought the
shirt collar; so he remarked one day, "It is wonderful what beautiful hair you
have, my little lady.
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